Volume I

Sometime in early 1998.

Howdy and welcome to our new column that provides a forum and support group for those fellow freaks blessed with a jones and ethereal appreciation of the finer points of hot salsas, hot sauces and Ahhh: Hot Peppers!

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bill Laymon, known in many parts as the Hot Sauce Kid and I really dig hot stuff. It's in the genes, so to speak; my mother, (I call her Senora), was born and raised in El Salvador. Used to stash Tabasco in the kitchen (pretty wild stuff in the 50's) when I was growing up and could frequently be observed sneaking 'nips to the lips' straight out of the bottle while preparing meals. Raised my brothers and me on lots of huevos rancheros, arroz con pollo, various latino dishes. So I come by it honestly, I s'pose.

My madness continued through high school, often packing a bottle of some hot sauce along to make those awful school cafeteria lunches more palatable.

In all the intervening years that I've been on the road playing music, spicy hot food has held a position of prominence in my gastronomic adventures. Usually these tours dictate such restrictions on our time that we get stuck eating at fast food joints like Denny's more often than any of us would choose. Nothin' like a little spicing up to turn that Southern Slam dinner into an exotic tasty treat! I got into collecting a wide array of hot sauces from various locales around the United States; at one point I was lugging around 18 bottles of hot sauce around in my shoulder bag (very heavy), marching it all into Denny's (or wherever) and thereby commence to setting all 18 bottles out in the middle of the table where the band was sitting, eliciting much astonishment from the waitresses who would exchange weird glances and give us some very scrutinizing looks. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! And when onstage, I'd set all these bottles on top of my ampstack, creating the appropriate mood staging-wise, and also handy in case me or another of my bandmates might need a quick fix in the middle of the show.

ENTER THE MAD HATTER

I guess this is where the Legend of the Hot Sauce Kid got started. The DNB was playing in Philly and as I was packing up after the show, I was jiving with our ol' buddy the Mad Hatter (righteous Pennsylvania biker-dude and also loves hot sauces) about needing a bandalero (or bullet-belt) that would be fitted to hold bottles of hot sauce. Just jiving, y'know? Sure. Well, the next night we were doing a double bill with the New Riders at the Wetlands in New York City. I was sound checking one of the bands (I played with both) when in comes the Mad Hatter, bigger'n life, and he had in his hands the most amazing contraption. Overnight, he'd gone home and handcrafted a leather bandalero belt fitted perfectly for bottles of hot sauce! Prayers answered! Also can double as a guitar strap. Now, when I enter any establishment, with that bandalero fully provisioned, draped over my shoulder in a cavalier manner, strutting with attitude, folks know that I'm not just another hot sauce junkie. I'm a force to be reckoned with! THANX HAT!

WE REALLY CAN HAVE A PERFECT WORLD!

Throughout our travels, I'm often presented with bottles of hot sauce (my reputation precedes me, I guess), either commercial or some very interesting home brews. I'd like to take a moment to give thanks to a couple of you and to review the product:

SLY, our buddy from Philadelphia, has repeatedly turned me and the band onto some delicious jalapeno and habanero sauces. Sly's sauces are usually very hot and flavorful with quite a viscous composition. Usually comes in a mason jar. Two thumbs up!

DAVE GRANT, of Charlottesville, VA, produces some of the finest hot sauces around. Dave once showed up with a wildly hot habanero sauce labeled "the Shit that Killed Elvis" that seemed to be comprised of those wonderful habanero peppers, cilantro and lime. Highly recommended!

HOT FUTURES

As this column evolves, we'll get into more substantial, hard issues such as: capsicum levels, BTU's, legalities and ethics. You can also look forward to more reports of hot adventures from the road, reviews of hot products , as well as remarks from my other DNB mates David Nelson, Barry Sless, Mookie Siegel and Arthur Steinhorn. We'd also like to invite ya'll to contribute your own two cents worth to this madness, either in cyberspace, through the postal service, or live in person at the gigs! Keep those cards, e-mails and hot sauces coming!

Best regards from Hot Sauce Land*

The HOT SAUCE KID