Volume III

January 2000

Howdy from Hot Sauce Land! Welcome once again to our little hot sauce column, which is intended to provide information, a support group and clearing house for hot sauce junkies everywhere.

The fairly relentless touring schedule of the DNB has brought many of us hot sauce freaks together as a community of sorts, and allowed much codependent behavior as we've shared our wicked confessionals and clandestine spicy liaisons.

Many of you have appeared at the DNB gigs---hot sauces in hand---getting on the hot sauce bus and showing your solidarity in our righteous cause. The general public has slowly but surely been persuaded to the merits and miracles of spicing up your food, as was evidenced by a recent report in the national news media. It's official, folks: SALSA HAS REPLACED CATSUP AS AMERICA'S #1 CONDIMENT! That's really terrific news, as I'm sure we all can agree, but the hotness ratings of these middle class salsas is questionable and therefore may remain suspect.

Allow me to illustrate: on the last tour to the Midwest, we were presented with numerous and generous offerings of hot sauce and most were really quite good. However, the band dispatched to eat at this Mexican place in Evansville, IN, where the house salsa was entirely lame: it was Italian marinara sauce that they were trying to pass as salsa to the unsuspecting Midwestern palettes. Dip our nachos in this? Ha! We sent the waitress back to the kitchen so many times for jalapeno peppers to mix in that we feared violence on her part. Still didn't fly, so I marched right back to the hotel, got a bottle of liquid fire and lit that bozo cafe up! The band was consequently all fired up and ready for a great show. And it was that...

As mentioned in previous columns, all members of the DNB have gotten "on the bus" where hot sauces are concerned. As you know, we've largely been living on the road for the past 5-plus years. Consequently, there is only so much roadhouse food that can be consumed before one starts wilting, physically and spiritually; that is until one pulls out a bottle of the favorite hot sauce, which can turn that pedestrian eggs and spuds into an exotic and exalted vacation to the culinary tropics. Oftentimes, band and crew are simultaneously grabbing for the sacred sauce, eager to be the first to get to that "special place"...

So, as the DNB High Adventure continues, so does our search for that perfect hot sauce. Hot sauce can help create a perfect world, folks...SPICE IT UP & GET A LIFE!

This column's recommended hot sauces from the Hot Sauce Kid:

HECTOR'S Smokin' Habanero Sauce (produced in Asheville, NC)
MELINDA'S XXXX Reserve Habanero Sauce (produced in Belize)
ULTIMATE BURN Habenero Sauce (produced in Dewey, DE)
HOT SAUCE FROM HELL Habanero Sauce (produced Glendale, AZ)

So, keep those cards and emails comin', folks! Remember to spice it up and live with a fiery passion...

Till next time,

The Hot Sauce Kid